Time, distance & window-shopping
Just read the book "Ordinary Daylight" by Andrew Potok. An interesting one. The author has a disease which makes him gradually lose sight.. The author manages to give a very graphic description of his trauma: A crumbling marriage, A fading career, A tumultous relationship with his kids & Fear of dependency. All of these due to his loss of sight.. Or so he thinks.. That's the catch.. For a long time he finds it convenient to blame all the problems in his life to his fading eyesight, but then gradually comes out his self-pity and starts living a richer life.
Many times while reading, I couldnt help but want to shake up the writer (It was autobiographical) and tell him to just let go of his pain and start afresh.. It was frustrating watching his slow progress & growth.. It was painful to see him take so much time in learning to cope.. Felt that he was being too immature..
Later, I couldn’t help but wonder, is it that easy? It does seem easy when it happens to someone else. Show me any problem and I can clinically analyse it to this reason or the other and come out with a solution.. Am damn good at dispensing advice.. And quite of few of them have proven effective to those who have been foolish enough to try it!
But how often have i been able to be objective when it comes to my own life? Many a time have i let an issue fester inside for long.. Too long.. Oh yes, I seem to allow my problems to have a longer-than-normal shelf life.. I worry.. I bother.. I wallow in self-pity.. I brood.. All the symptoms for preserving the problem in perfect conditions.( As they say in the medicine labels, "store in cool,dry place for longer shelf life"!) I've tried a couple of new age solutions like positive thinking, deep breathing etc... But by far the best solution seems to be TIME & DISTANCE..
A typical desi cure, TIME & DISTANCE.. Wounds apparently heal better if not band-aided. I cannot vouch for the scientific basis of this statement. But one thing i have experienced is that no bitterness, pain, hatred or anger can stand the test of time. Time just washes all of them away like a Tsunami. Distance is again a godsend. "Just travel it off", thats my maxim.. Nothing works better for me than time and distance. Afterall, i'm mobile and i make maximum use of it.. This is not equal to running away from the issue.. Putting distance helps me gain a proper perspective of the issue and voila, i'm back in form..
Went for a long ride yesterday night after finishing the book.. A friend once said, "The true nature of a city is only visible in the night." How true!.. Driving through the streets of the city at night is so energising.. The lack of traffic, noise, pollution.. The hookers, the police, the drug peddlers, the dance bars, the god-knows-what sellers all add to the spice of night..
One of my pastimes when i go for my night rides is to trail the police jeeps.. It is pure fun to watch the police in action.. Yesterday i took to observing a police jeep in Kurla area.. The jeep stopped at each and every shop.. Out went the constable with the inspectorsaab staying back in the safety of the jeep.. The constable would come back in 2 mins from the shop with a bundle wrapped in a kerchief.. This routine repeated itself in front of each and every shop.. I counted 10 in just one street that i followed them.. Multiply it by atleast 5 streets in one beat and multiply that by Rs.250 and you know the money that an inspector makes in one shift.. So much for "to serve & protect".. It is more like a protection racket that is being run..
My friendly neighbourhood bar owner says that even if he does close the bar by 11 ( the official closing time), the police still demand a hafta, so he decided to keep it open till 2.. As a result the police come everyday.. And since the owner has to pay hafta, he decides to keep the bar open for a longer time to recover his costs.. Such is the vicious cycle.
The hookers, practitioners of the oldest profession in the world, are a Dime-a-Dozen. One such madam stood near the junction of Kurla & Kalina roads. Anticipation, Fear, Indifference, all of these emotions flashed by in her face in a matter of seconds as I passed her. I was riding slowly to enjoy the night air. As i drove closer, I could observe her better. She was youngish.. Around 30.. Dusky.. A full bosom and wide hips.. A dark pink transparent saree worn with a tight fitting, low-cut black blouse.. Hair tied in a bun surrounded by a sea of jasmine flowers.. Garish lipstick.. Cheap handbag.. Lovely glass bangles.. As we made eye-contact, she sized me up quickly and gave a smile. Her eyes betrayed the greedy glint a salesman has upon seeing a potential customer about to make a purchase. My indifferent facial features quickly told her that i was not interested in her offer. But as i continued towards her, she grew a bit wary probably thinking i was some kind of psycho out to kill her or do something worse. I could see fear. But as i drove past her, i shot a side glance and realised that her face had a new emotion plastered on it - Indifference. I was just another window-shopper!
Many times while reading, I couldnt help but want to shake up the writer (It was autobiographical) and tell him to just let go of his pain and start afresh.. It was frustrating watching his slow progress & growth.. It was painful to see him take so much time in learning to cope.. Felt that he was being too immature..
Later, I couldn’t help but wonder, is it that easy? It does seem easy when it happens to someone else. Show me any problem and I can clinically analyse it to this reason or the other and come out with a solution.. Am damn good at dispensing advice.. And quite of few of them have proven effective to those who have been foolish enough to try it!
But how often have i been able to be objective when it comes to my own life? Many a time have i let an issue fester inside for long.. Too long.. Oh yes, I seem to allow my problems to have a longer-than-normal shelf life.. I worry.. I bother.. I wallow in self-pity.. I brood.. All the symptoms for preserving the problem in perfect conditions.( As they say in the medicine labels, "store in cool,dry place for longer shelf life"!) I've tried a couple of new age solutions like positive thinking, deep breathing etc... But by far the best solution seems to be TIME & DISTANCE..
A typical desi cure, TIME & DISTANCE.. Wounds apparently heal better if not band-aided. I cannot vouch for the scientific basis of this statement. But one thing i have experienced is that no bitterness, pain, hatred or anger can stand the test of time. Time just washes all of them away like a Tsunami. Distance is again a godsend. "Just travel it off", thats my maxim.. Nothing works better for me than time and distance. Afterall, i'm mobile and i make maximum use of it.. This is not equal to running away from the issue.. Putting distance helps me gain a proper perspective of the issue and voila, i'm back in form..
Went for a long ride yesterday night after finishing the book.. A friend once said, "The true nature of a city is only visible in the night." How true!.. Driving through the streets of the city at night is so energising.. The lack of traffic, noise, pollution.. The hookers, the police, the drug peddlers, the dance bars, the god-knows-what sellers all add to the spice of night..
One of my pastimes when i go for my night rides is to trail the police jeeps.. It is pure fun to watch the police in action.. Yesterday i took to observing a police jeep in Kurla area.. The jeep stopped at each and every shop.. Out went the constable with the inspectorsaab staying back in the safety of the jeep.. The constable would come back in 2 mins from the shop with a bundle wrapped in a kerchief.. This routine repeated itself in front of each and every shop.. I counted 10 in just one street that i followed them.. Multiply it by atleast 5 streets in one beat and multiply that by Rs.250 and you know the money that an inspector makes in one shift.. So much for "to serve & protect".. It is more like a protection racket that is being run..
My friendly neighbourhood bar owner says that even if he does close the bar by 11 ( the official closing time), the police still demand a hafta, so he decided to keep it open till 2.. As a result the police come everyday.. And since the owner has to pay hafta, he decides to keep the bar open for a longer time to recover his costs.. Such is the vicious cycle.
The hookers, practitioners of the oldest profession in the world, are a Dime-a-Dozen. One such madam stood near the junction of Kurla & Kalina roads. Anticipation, Fear, Indifference, all of these emotions flashed by in her face in a matter of seconds as I passed her. I was riding slowly to enjoy the night air. As i drove closer, I could observe her better. She was youngish.. Around 30.. Dusky.. A full bosom and wide hips.. A dark pink transparent saree worn with a tight fitting, low-cut black blouse.. Hair tied in a bun surrounded by a sea of jasmine flowers.. Garish lipstick.. Cheap handbag.. Lovely glass bangles.. As we made eye-contact, she sized me up quickly and gave a smile. Her eyes betrayed the greedy glint a salesman has upon seeing a potential customer about to make a purchase. My indifferent facial features quickly told her that i was not interested in her offer. But as i continued towards her, she grew a bit wary probably thinking i was some kind of psycho out to kill her or do something worse. I could see fear. But as i drove past her, i shot a side glance and realised that her face had a new emotion plastered on it - Indifference. I was just another window-shopper!
posted by Raja at 3:49 AM
1 comments
